benefits of being friends with me
- shitty jokes whenever you ask for them
- shitty jokes whenever you don’t ask for them
Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it
no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1
keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under
I’m just trying to get lunch, not have an existential crisis.
every 5 seconds a woman gives birth to a baby. stop this woman.
i need someone who will sit on a rooftop with me at 2 in the morning and will tell me their favorite songs and their family problems and how they think the earth was made
my worst fear is laughing at a joke I don’t understand and having someone ask me to explain it
me dad’s a muggle
mam’s a witch
I LOVE HOW THIS MANY PEOPLE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS REFERRING TO AND WHO SAID IT AND THE ACCENT AND WHAT YEAR IT WAS IN WE ARE ALL CRAZY
I literally don’t know what id do without my pillow to spoon at night.